The Great Pretender

Grief is pretending all the time. Grief makes everyone and everything sound like the Charlie Brown’s teacher. “Womp, womp, womp.”

Do you want to go to the family reunion? “Womp, womp, womp. “

Out to eat?

“Womp, womp, womp “

 It’s hard to concentrate, understand things. Grief makes life difficult. I’m three years out from my son’s death and 14 years from his life changing accident, and it has changed me.  Our society doesn’t hold space for grievers. Grief makes others feel uncomfortable. It seems they want you to hurry up and be done with it already. So, we pretend.

I pretend a lot. I pretend I care about graduations, proms, and other rites of passages that my son won’t be able to enjoy.

I want to shout, “I don’t care!” Because how can I?  How can I care about those things, when he is not here, and I am?

Grief makes you numb. It’s harder to feel excitement or joy because you know that all good things eventually, will come to an end.

What is normal when you have grief?

Nothing is.

I don’t think grievers should have to pretend. We should be allowed to voice our sadness, discomfort, and pain. Sometimes we will and can attend a family function but sometimes we need respite of the constant reminders that we are different, and we will never be the same.

That’s why it’s important to have safe places to voice your grief. To feel freely, your happiness and sorrow, without judgement.

I done with pretending, I am grieving .

How have you saved space for your grief ?